Chasing Lainie

Without a thought…without inspiration…without a reason…I have walked to you.  I cannot put my finger on one attribute you hold, but the picture was burned deep into my mind.  Was it the high cheekbones, the slight slope of the nose?  Was it the perfection of your full lips, the hair as black as night, or crystal blue eyes that held more mystery than the deepest ocean?  Could have been a combination every physical feature, these are merely a visage of what you hold deep inside.  Within is the beautiful insanity of an artistic sage with a compassion that can never be equaled

I've never had the pleasure of meeting you.  I've never seen you.  I've only imagined that you exist in this world.   I have never smelled your sweetness.  I have never touched the tips of your fingers, but you are out there…I have felt that much.   Are you a ghost from my past life?  Temptress bent on quickening my madness?  Are you the specter taunting me from a distance on this road?  In time all will be revealed…or will it.

Does your existence even matter?  At this point your only true significance is what I hold in my mind.  The potential of your manifestation is a fence called choice.  At one side you live and the other you remain a thought.  Solitude has built a savage desire within for our paths to intersect.  This thought process, I have discovered has become more of an obstruction, a road block that sits on my path keeping me from the vast space of infinite potential.  The pitiful truth is that I have put you there.

In my life I have sat in the presence of extraordinary power of the feminine.  Although I have only allowed myself to experience a small few both physically as well as emotionally, I must admit that I have been deeply in love with all of them.  For this I am grateful.  The level of connection was of course a compromise of give and take based on our comfort level.  In each encounter one of us made have wanted more, but what transpired was what was necessary for each party in that moment.  It was a dance of simplistic perfection.

As I have found myself obsessing over the idea of you that I hold inside for all those that have become before this moment.  I will continue to love each of them for the time shared together.  I know that I will undoubtedly love more as I walk.  I no longer desire the thought of you. A devilish obstruction that taints the infinite potentiality that is at my finger tips. 

I will continue to walk.  I will continue to enjoy those I will share the road with from time to time.  I will continue to walk, and near then end if I meet what ever it is that you are, maybe we will walk together into the next world.  Until then…I will continue to walk toward my word of fearlessness.  Who ever you may be…one or many.  I invite you to join me.