DOW: Wake Up

To learn more about Jonas and his story go to the Wake Up website.

Chasing Lainie

Without a thought…without inspiration…without a reason…I have walked to you.  I cannot put my finger on one attribute you hold, but the picture was burned deep into my mind.  Was it the high cheekbones, the slight slope of the nose?  Was it the perfection of your full lips, the hair as black as night, or crystal blue eyes that held more mystery than the deepest ocean?  Could have been a combination every physical feature, these are merely a visage of what you hold deep inside.  Within is the beautiful insanity of an artistic sage with a compassion that can never be equaled

I've never had the pleasure of meeting you.  I've never seen you.  I've only imagined that you exist in this world.   I have never smelled your sweetness.  I have never touched the tips of your fingers, but you are out there…I have felt that much.   Are you a ghost from my past life?  Temptress bent on quickening my madness?  Are you the specter taunting me from a distance on this road?  In time all will be revealed…or will it.

Does your existence even matter?  At this point your only true significance is what I hold in my mind.  The potential of your manifestation is a fence called choice.  At one side you live and the other you remain a thought.  Solitude has built a savage desire within for our paths to intersect.  This thought process, I have discovered has become more of an obstruction, a road block that sits on my path keeping me from the vast space of infinite potential.  The pitiful truth is that I have put you there.

In my life I have sat in the presence of extraordinary power of the feminine.  Although I have only allowed myself to experience a small few both physically as well as emotionally, I must admit that I have been deeply in love with all of them.  For this I am grateful.  The level of connection was of course a compromise of give and take based on our comfort level.  In each encounter one of us made have wanted more, but what transpired was what was necessary for each party in that moment.  It was a dance of simplistic perfection.

As I have found myself obsessing over the idea of you that I hold inside for all those that have become before this moment.  I will continue to love each of them for the time shared together.  I know that I will undoubtedly love more as I walk.  I no longer desire the thought of you. A devilish obstruction that taints the infinite potentiality that is at my finger tips. 

I will continue to walk.  I will continue to enjoy those I will share the road with from time to time.  I will continue to walk, and near then end if I meet what ever it is that you are, maybe we will walk together into the next world.  Until then…I will continue to walk toward my word of fearlessness.  Who ever you may be…one or many.  I invite you to join me.

We All Have A Path

The Hero's Journey
By
Joseph Campbell

1. Departure

The Call to Adventure:
The call to adventure is the point in a person's life when they are first given notice that everything is going to change, whether they know it or not.

A. Refusal of the Call:
Often when the call is given, the future hero refuses to heed it. This may be from a sense of duty or obligation, fear, insecurity, a sense of inadequacy, or any of a range of reasons that work to hold the person in his or her current circumstances.

B. Supernatural Aid:
Once the hero has committed to the quest, consciously or unconsciously, his or her guide and magical helper appears, or becomes known.

C. The Crossing of the First Threshold:
This is the point where the person actually crosses into the field of adventure, leaving the known limits of his or her world and venturing into an unknown and dangerous realm where the rules and limits are not known.

D. The Belly of the Whale:
The belly of the whale represents the final separation from the hero's known world and self. It is sometimes described as the person's lowest point, but it is actually the point when the person is between or transitioning between worlds and selves. The separation has been made, or is being made, or being fully recognized between the old world and old self and the potential for a new world/self. The experiences that will shape the new world and self will begin shortly, or may be beginning with this experience which is often symbolized by something dark, unknown and frightening. By entering this stage, the person shows their willingness to undergo a metamorphosis, to die to him or herself.

2. Initiation


A. The Road of Trials
The road of trials is a series of tests, tasks, or ordeals that the person must undergo to begin the transformation. Often the person fails one or more of these tests, which often occur in threes.

B. The Meeting with the Goddess
The meeting with the goddess represents the point in the adventure when the person experiences a love that has the power and significance of the all-powerful, all encompassing, unconditional love that a fortunate infant may experience with his or her mother. It is also known as the "hieros gamos", or sacred marriage, the union of opposites, and may take place entirely within the person. In other words, the person begins to see him or herself in a non-dualistic way. This is a very important step in the process and is often represented by the person finding the other person that he or she loves most completely. Although Campbell symbolizes this step as a meeting with a goddess, unconditional love and /or self unification does not have to be represented by a woman.

C. Woman as the Temptress
At one level, this step is about those temptations that may lead the hero to abandon or stray from his or her quest, which as with the Meeting with the Goddess does not necessarily have to be represented by a woman. For Campbell, however, this step is about the revulsion that the usually male hero may feel about his own fleshy/earthy nature, and the subsequent attachment or projection of that revulsion to women. Woman is a metaphor for the physical or material temptations of life, since the hero-knight was often tempted by lust from his spiritual journey.

D. Atonement with the Father
In this step the person must confront and be initiated by whatever holds the ultimate power in his or her life. In many myths and stories this is the father, or a father figure who has life and death power. This is the center point of the journey. All the previous steps have been moving in to this place, all that follow will move out from it. Although this step is most frequently symbolized by an encounter with a male entity, it does not have to be a male; just someone or thing with incredible power. For the transformation to take place, the person as he or she has been must be "killed" so that the new self can come into being. Sometime this killing is literal, and the earthly journey for that character is either over or moves into a different realm.

E. Apotheosis
To apotheosize is to deify. When someone dies a physical death, or dies to the self to live in spirit, he or she moves beyond the pairs of opposites to a state of divine knowledge, love, compassion and bliss. This is a god-like state; the person is in heaven and beyond all strife. A more mundane way of looking at this step is that it is a period of rest, peace and fulfillment before the hero begins the return.

F. The Ultimate Boon
The ultimate boon is the achievement of the goal of the quest. It is what the person went on the journey to get. All the previous steps serve to prepare and purify the person for this step, since in many myths the boon is something transcendent like the elixir of life itself, or a plant that supplies immortality, or the holy grail.

3. Return


A. Refusal of the Return
So why, when all has been achieved, the ambrosia has been drunk, and we have conversed with the gods, why come back to normal life with all its cares and woes?

B. The Magic Flight
Sometimes the hero must escape with the boon, if it is something that the gods have been jealously guarding. It can be just as adventurous and dangerous returning from the journey as it was to go on it.

C. Rescue from Without
Just as the hero may need guides and assistants to set out on the quest, often times he or she must have powerful guides and rescuers to bring them back to everyday life, especially if the person has been wounded or weakened by the experience. Or perhaps the person doesn't realize that it is time to return, that they can return, or that others need their boon.

D. The Crossing of the Return Threshold
The trick in returning is to retain the wisdom gained on the quest, to integrate that wisdom into a human life, and then maybe figure out how to share the wisdom with the rest of the world. This is usually extremely difficult.

E. Master of the Two Worlds
In myth, this step is usually represented by a transcendental hero like Jesus or Buddha. For a human hero, it may mean achieving a balance between the material and spiritual. The person has become comfortable and competent in both the inner and outer worlds.

F. Freedom to Live
Mastery leads to freedom from the fear of death, which in turn is the freedom to live. This is sometimes referred to as living in the moment, neither anticipating the future nor regretting the past.

Bliss is Following your Calling

"Follow your bliss."

         -Joseph Campbell

A wise woman told me, that the road I have chosen is one of solitude, and at times lonely.  Being alone in the depth of solitude is at most times inevitable.  Solitude is much different from loneliness, and when it strikes, it lays a pressure that is greater than the deepest fathomable abyss.  Still, Loneliness is just another of the multitude of perspectives.  There is a fantastic opportunity in self-reflection and worldly observation.

I ask myself why I may feel such a way.  Why would I feel those moments of loneliness?  The truth is, I'm not alone.  Being separated from the normalcy of the exterior confusion can be unsettling; the raw silence where we are left with the burden of our thoughts.  I am becoming comfortable in my skin while alone, comfortable in the eerie defining silence where I have the chance to journey within.  The greatest voyage any individual can embark upon is through the infinite and vast realm of self.  It is a journey that is juxtaposed with great light and an unfathomable & terrifying darkness.  This is the hardest thing anyone can do, but it is a just struggle to engage in.

This tour isn't the first time I have given myself this opportunity.   Pretty sure this won't be my last.  What this solitude has allowed me to do is to gleam what I am and what I want.  We are all colorful characters within a magnificent story.  Like every story the hero must go on a quest.  Some quests are internal...some external.  The great ones are filled with both.  Every single one of us is a great hero on an ever-evolving quest: a quest that enables us to undergo an extraordinary transformation of self.

             From cradle to grave we walk a road that is filled with pitfalls, trials, & challenges.  As much as we profess how we despise these moments in our lives, they are invaluable.  We must not become stagnant or impotent with anxiety or fear of those moments of hardship and struggle.  Instead, we must have faith in the quest itself.  Each of us has a calling, and when we honor that calling life has a way of sending us aid.  The greatest culprit in our lives seems to be the idea of having a strict plan.  It builds an almost impenetrable wall that keeps out adaptability and necessity.   Once one is lucky enough to find their calling, all he/she needs is formidable intention.  Without desire of status or material, an intention should lead you on the unknowable path.

            Armed with an intention that is fueled by an open heart, we will find those other characters that will lend us aid when we least expect it.  Some of these individuals will be reoccurring through out your narrative, others will come and go like the passing wind.  With faith and a firm lack of judgment, these people will guide you along your travels.  Some will bestow upon you pearls of wisdom, while others will give you nourishment and tools essential for you to carry on.  Like those you encounter, the journey will be unpredictable and blessed with wisdom gifted in every new piece of experience.  Do not allow fear, apathy, or laziness to supersede the unlimited possibilities that await you.  The time has come for you to take ownership of your journey.  The time has come for your arrival.

A Child’s Humility Unfolding on a Man’s Ego

          The sun rises and a brilliant light fills the living room.  Its day 8 of the RISE tour, and a realization has set in.  The entire situation is like being smashed in the face with a shovel.  We set out on this mission first for our brothers, and quickly understood that it was inclusive to all.  Immediately the idea snowballed, and I made the faulty misconception of believing I understood the magnitude of what was about to unfold.  My resolve seemed emboldened about the path that lay before us with every thank you, handshake, and embrace.  Furthermore, any queer look or naysayer only seemed to ignite a brighter flame.  In hindsight this masculine bravado has set the stage for a bruising to my ego.

Einstein once said that Imagination is more important than knowledge.  I agree with this thought, but one thing that out ways imagination is experience.  The first two days were an overwhelming data stream of unimaginable experience.  Just in the Day one of our tour, the gravity of our journey was emotionally palpable.  Darkness filled the skies of the Bay area, pelting us with rain and tempest like wind.  The Coast Guard of Station Golden Gate sent us off with an honorable ceremony of true fellowship.  Never had I imagined in my wildest dreams that we would have been given that gift.  If anything it pumped us up for the first 3 miles or so.  Still, the rain & wined persisted punishing us with every pedal stroke as we moved forward.

On Day 2 we traveled from Los Altos to Santa Cruz.  This day was to be a much shorter distance than the first.  Seems easy enough, only this day a Mountain stood between our destination and us.  We were warned time and time again as the night of March 1^st drew to an end, but no warning could prepare us for the truth that lies in experience.  It became clear to us quickly, not only were we to take the back roads, but we were to take the back of the back roads.  After only 15 miles, we began our ascent into the mountain pass.  We pushed our bikes for five miles up 4,000 ft of steep hill.  I have never been so tired, frustrated and beet down in my life, but I was in the midst of such uncharted beauty…uncharted for my eye.

The first real lesson came with the community of Santa Cruz.  Outside of speaking with survivors, the conversation seemed to always drift toward self-care.  How are Zak & Thomas taking care of themselves?  I never thought about that. In fact, despite the lack of training we had, I was pretty confident in my ability to ride long distance.  I never once considered the emotional weight and the physicality of the ride to be such a drain.  The experience and advice from Santa Cruz was tested soon after, and it was a moment that forced us to reassess our situation.

Our moment to tackle the Pacific Coast Highway from Pacific Grove to Plaskett had come.  This particular part of the PCH is nothing less than breath taking, and I personally had been fanaticizing about the days ride for some time.  Unfortunately, Mother Nature had her own agenda for what type of day would be set out for us.  The evening before brought a powerful rain & windstorm, which left a mark in its wake.  Every road & highway our tires passed over that morning were filled with debris.   Most disconcerting is the wind’s full gale whirling in around noontime up to 55 miles per hour.

We pushed on as the wind began to rear its ugly head.  Atop of 500 ft. cliffs with no guardrail, what was most frightening was how strange it seemed to witness the waves breaking so far out.  Minute after minute and stride after stride, the wind endured and intensified with a dramatic ferocity.  The wind was so fierce; it pushed us with ease as we moved through the hills.  Most demoralizing were those moments when the wind held us back from gaining speed when on the down slope.  Pushing into of our 30-mile stretch for the day, we stopped for a break. 

The memories, or should I call them lesson’s, of Santa Cruz taunted us.  Like a terrifying howl that echoes through the night, demanding your full attention to the situation.  Luckily, our friend Sumer was our support vehicle.  With miles ahead to traverse through dangerous terrain and weather, it was time to make a choice.  Give into our egos and do the mileage to say that we did it, or be mind full of self care; look out after each other and carry the message that life experience bestowed to us to carry across the country.

This was a moment of sobering clarity.  What was our sole purpose for this ride?  We talk a lot about community and collaboration.  It’s been our mantra, but for a year we never considered that we display that creed when it came to the physical & logistical terms of the tour.  Sumer being there helped in more ways than one.  She embodied reason through voice and presence.  Zak & I gave into the needs of the tour, rather than what we had planned in our mind to both complete 7,000+ miles each.  To accomplish our goal, we will have to be a team.  As a cycling team, we must exemplify the very creed we pontificate through out social media, and meetings.  The RISE cyclists must be an autonomous community that adapts in every situation that arises.  For this lesson, I thank Santa Cruz…

...too many giggles.

The Departure

I begin this blog on day three of our journey.  Gratefully, it is a day off.  I’m not gonna lie, I’m tired, sore, and I have a monster headache.  Despite all that, I feel alive.  I have found beauty within the pain.  Not to be confused, I’m not saying pain and suffering is a good thing.  This ride, even in two days, has exemplified the concept of sweet and soar.  I would not have had all the amazing moments, nor would I have seen some of the most beautiful nature, had it not been for this ride.  The pain is an absolute blessing in disguise.

Our send off was amazing.  The Coast Guard unit from Station Golden Gate is manned by some of the most amazing individuals I have ever had the pleasure of sharing space with.  Not only did we have the chance to spend our final night before the beginning of our tour on base, but also were given an escort to the northern entrance of the Golden Gate.  3 crewmembers took my bike & 3 took zaks.  We walked together as went down two flights of stairs, passing under the bridge and back up two more flights to the northeast side of the bridge. 

Thomas Brown, Mark Allstott, Zak Chipps

There are no words to explain how I felt. The wind was a tempest and the rain was pelting down on us as we stood under the dark grey sky.  The escort was more than either of us expected, or could ask for.  If I weren’t so pumped with adrenalin, I would have cried.  I hope a day comes where I can repay the favor to everyone of those service men & women.  To add to the emotional day, before we left, station commander, Warrant Officer Allstott gave both Zak and I a unity coin.  This signified that we were brothers and a part of the same team.  I will carry that coin with me till the day I die.

As we passed through the mighty Golden Gate, the wind was something fierce. The wind ripped my helmet hood off my jacket & I seriously thought a gale would swoop in and sweep Zak away.  We stopped for a moment and collect ourselves.  After taking a picture, I put on some music.  My ipod was already paused on a song: Third eye by TooL.  Lyrics blasted in my ears, “we’ll see you on the other side… we’ll see you on the other side… we’ll see you on the other side…”  I smiled at the obviousness of the synchronicity.  As McKenna would say, it was another Cosmic Giggle.

Waiting for us on the other side was Sumer Smith Castro and Noah Kaplan.  Sumer I have known since 7^th grade.  She gratuitously accepted to take us in months before March 1^st.  Unfortunately, a month ago, she lost her brother to suicide.  Sumer wanted to be a part of the day, so she was our support vehicle for the day.  Noah, who we had never met before crossing the bridge, has a history with the Golden Gate.  In 2007, Noah’s brother jumped off the bridge.  He contacted me a few weeks before we drove to California, and asked to ride with us, as well as escort us through the city.  We were very grateful and blessed for both Sumer and Noah that morning.

 

It is still much too early, but the first few days have showered us with lessons of the road.  Many people have reached out to help us as we move from town to town.  I am learning very slowly how to not only readjust, but to learn patience with this new lifestyle.  Time and experience are the best teachers, after that it is on us to just pay attention, integrate, and adapt.

The Mighty Fierce is LIFE

I have something I need to get off my chest.  There is this unquenchable desire to convey these feelings.  What ever you do, don’t be alarmed.  If you try to absorb the words as they are, I’ll do my best to express what it is I am feeling in a coherent matter.   I am feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety and fear.  Fear for what?  The fear of following a dream; not just any dream…my dream.  I am in awe at the depth of surrealism one can constantly travel.  Each new experience provides the opportunity to dig deeper into the great and magical of void of the mystery.

I feel for the first time in my life, that I am beginning to live.  Its difficult and strenuous, but at this point, I have already been overwhelmed by the rewards, love, and support.  It is interesting how an individuals passion, when followed through becomes more than the individual.  It becomes community.  There are no true words, nor deeds that could show my true gratitude for such an amazing collective.  Those I know, those that I will meet, and those that I will bump into on this journey.  Well, I guess the one way to reciprocate is to continue.

I am freaking out, and it is amazing, profound, and necessary.    Not only is it necessary for me, but for the journey.  The amount energy I feel could be akin to a nuclear reactor…maybe.  It is a rhythm that is oscillating and resonating higher, louder, and richer with each passing moment.  Will this feeling subside?  Will it transform?  Yes.  This is my new life, and I intend to at least learn how to pay attention to it.  The RISE experiment hasn’t even begun, and yet I feel such change.

I am fully aware, that I have not comprehension as to what I am about to do, experience, and find while out there in the great wide open.  The road, the culture, and weather are all great characters of the narrative that is RISE.  My relationship with the three will grow like any interpersonal relationship that I share.   It will certainly ebb and flow leaving my saturated in feelings of both joy and despair.   The journey with Zac will be both tightening and straining as be travel through the wilderness.  It will remain on our shoulders to be true to one another as well as to ourselves.

The great paradox of both dichotomy and communion will reveal itself as we travel as we move from great metropolis to the country and back again.  As time goes on, I anticipate that the very thing that makes them different will be that which binds them together.   Already, as I walk through the city of San Francisco, I am witness to the very laws that govern the most relentless aspects of nature.

I stand upon a nexus.  On one side, I see the man who has traveled the path that lead me to San Francisco in 2012.  On the other, I see a person who is now constantly morphing through the abstract realm of infinite possibility.  The three of us now stand together.  I hope my heart and intention remain true.  You the reader will be witness to what I will become.  I am sure I will be as I am now…many things to many people.

To those who I have experience…thank you for walking with me.  Whether it was a singular moment, weeks, years, or lifetime from the bottom of my heart…Thank You.   For those that await our intersection, many blessings and we will see each other soon.