The RISE bicycle tour has come to an end. Within the journey I have been blessed
with the grace of others and experienced things far greater than what I could
have imagines. I have travelled
through seemingly endless terrain that was a beautiful as it is diverse. Zak and I engaged in countless
heartfelt conversations with hundreds, if not thousands of people. Our stay at COSM couldn’t have been
more than the perfection it was.
Still eclipsing all that transpired, or more importantly, adding to the
tour as a whole, was the chance to meet a truly enchanting soul: Sharon
Stelluto, the Hospitality Manager at COSM.
I
have to tip my hat and show my greatest appreciation and gratitude to Brad
Burge of M.A.P.S. (The Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies)
who was the gatekeeper that introduced us to COSM via Allyson Grey. Without his support and willingness to
vouch for us, things might have ended differently. No need to invent imaginary scenarios. Things happened just as they were meant
to. After a few interactions with
Allyson by way of email, she connected me with Sharon to continue a dialog and
updates as Zak and I travelled across the country.
We
didn’t talk much, perhaps once a month or every three weeks; every
communication was very professional and to the point. Before we entered Manhattan, I emailed Sharon, expressing my
desire to talk with her on the phone and discuss our arrival on the final day
of tour, as we have done this with all our contacts. In my mind, it was a conversation that should only take five
to ten minutes. When we did
finally talk, we did only spend that five to ten minutes talking about our
arrival, but for the next hour or hour and a half we just talked. The conversation didn’t even begin till
after 6pm at night. I was in the
room given to me for my stay in Manhattan, and she was still in the COSM office
building.
By the time we decided to end the
conversation and go back to our separate worlds, I was dumbfounded. I didn’t want to hang up. I wanted to continue to talk to her and
learn more about who Sharon is.
She was so easy to talk to…so familiar. During the remainder of my time in Manhattan and Sparkill, I
found my thoughts drifting more and more to Sharon. Here I was, at the edge of finishing this monumental
journey, about to ride my bicycle to the visionary community of one of my
inspirations, and all I could think about was this woman who I didn’t
know. We’ll I didn’t know her this
lifetime, that’s for damn sure.
As the final morning arrived, I was
filled with so many mixed emotions.
This is what Zak and I have worked so hard for, for so damn long. I wanted to hold onto it, yet I knew it
needed to be let go. In the back
of my mind, Sharon was there. As
the day of riding progressed, she moved closer to the forefront of my
mind. Who was this person? Why now, here at the end. It felt like a powerful gravitational
pull, but with no way to explain it’s reason or purpose.
Arriving at COSM, my anticipation
only intensified. Not to be
annoyingly redundant, but who was the woman who belonged to that voice. It was about time to find out. Riding up to the top of the hill, I was
blown away by an unexpected visit.
My mother was flown in by our New Jersey contact, Stephanie
Samuels. As I mentioned in my
previous blog, my mother had been sick and rushed to the hospital not long
before this final day. I had been
extremely worried about her condition and health. To see her there was a shocking and blessed surprise.
As much as I wanted to finally meet
Sharon Stelluto, I was swept away by an emotional tempest. I lost it. I cried so damn hard, my mother walked over to me and embraced
me. And we stood there and just hugged.
I know how special this journey Zak and I embarked on was for her, as it
was for so many. Crying like a
little baby who wants her/his binky in front of a woman that has captivated you
is usually a resounding “NO NO” in the unwritten rule of Man Code. Sharon was witness to this powerful
moment between mother and son, a moment I was grateful to have shared with her.
After the family departed, allowing
Zak and I a tour of COSM by Sharon, I couldn’t help but feel so comfortable in
her presence. Sharing space with
her and talking felt so familiar, as if we had known each other for years. This was surprising, and frustrating,
as my time at COSM continued, ifelt as if the hospitality manager was avoiding
me. It was a paradoxical scenario,
unless I was reading her wrong, I wasn’t getting an uneasy creepy vibe. Quit the contrary, she expressed in her
smile and body language, that she enjoyed my presence just as much as I enjoyed
hers. Still, she was elusive. Come
to find, there was a reason for her conflicting behavior, but that explanation
is for another time and medium.
During the time that I did spend
with Sharon, I discovered that she is a phenomenal painter. Go figure…she does work at COSM after
all. In the dining hall is a
beautiful painting of a rose that I wanted to take home. As soon as I discovered it was hers, I
knew I had a way to pull out my creeper card and get the extra time I wanted
with her…to talk. I asked Sharon
if she would be up for an interview for our RISE tour documentary. We could discuss COSM, our arrival from
her point of view, and her passion for painting. To my delight, she agreed to the interview.
During the interview, I couldn’t
help but be an open book to her.
Not so much with words, but with my energy. I guess it showed too.
Later she told me I she could see what I was feeling just by the way I
was looking at her. I couldn’t
help myself. In such a short
order, and without knowing…I was smitten by this woman. After the interview, I
gave her my RISE necklace. I had
been wearing the necklace since Austin.
I must admit, I gave the necklace I started with to someone who also
made an impact on me, but this was different. This necklace was saturated in a deep development of my
personal transformation, and when I gave it to her, it was like giving her a
very powerful piece of myself. We
then shared in a very long hug that I did not want to part from.
Before Zak and I left, Sharon and
Haya (another COSM homie/my spiritual sista from anotha motha) joined us in our
RISE tradition…the scattering of Marc’s ashes. Sharon helped me with a picture that I have taken in so many
places across this country. With
some of Marc’s ashes in my hand, I held them up to the sculpture “Altered
States” the future site for The Chapel of Sacred Mirrors. I circled the sculpture as I scattered
the ashes. Besides Zak, there have
only been three others that have shared that space with me the entire way. Having Sharon there to act as witness…once
again made this final tour scattering so much more beautiful and relevant.
The four of us (Sharon, Haya, Zak,
& I) said our goodbyes as we parted ways. Zak and I had to head to East Stroudsburg, PA to speak at
the University the next day.
Though we had to, I didn’t want to leave. I hadn’t spent enough time with her; I wanted to know more
about that pull. As we headed down
the driveway, I was left aching feeling…as if I was being torn from my home
without consent. The morning after
our speaking engagement at East Stroudsburg University, Zak and I parted
ways. He was heading to Philly to
catch a flight back to phoenix, and I was heading to Illinois to visit an old
friend. Still thinking about my
short lived time with Sharon, driving through the state of Pennsylvania, the
universe it seems, did not want me to forget.
For One Hundred and Fifty miles,
every five to seven miles, the mile signs were speaking to me. As I traveled further away from the
wonderful Hospitality Manger of COSM, I was wandering closer to the small town
of Sharon, PA. It was one of those
synchronistic gut punches that demand your attention. Over and over again, her name was thrown into my face. It’s as if she was calling out to
me. I couldn’t resist any
longer. If I didn’t have a
schedule to keep, I would have turned around. I didn’t, but I’d be damned if I was gonna ignore this
pull. I was gonna investigate
this…I needed to.
A lot of people like to talk about
the concept of logic. I sure am
one to espouse the comfort of such rational thought. If it is one thing I learned from the tour, one true and
honest universal truth…is that paradox rules supreme. Like everything else, logic is relative. I’m sure there are many, who will
disagree, but like paradox, they are both correct and incorrect…just depends on
the vantage point. I know,
sometimes I sound like a dog chasing my tail (wait…sounds?).
Sharon lives 2,510 miles from me,
door to door. Where is the logic
in sustaining an intimate relationship in that situation? Then again, where is the logic in quitting
my job in the midst of a terrible economy to ride a bicycle over 7,000 miles
with only %5 of the budget secured?
Traveling across this country at the pace of a bicycle reminded me of
the magical power of will. The
human spirit is an amazing thing, with infinite potential. I’m not going to sit here and convey in
type that I know what is meant for Sharon and I. All I do know, there is a magic between us. Each day is another chance to learn
from one other.
Since I have left COSM, we have
continued in discovering the potential of our connection via, facebook, phone,
and skype. We have already had one
visit, and are looking forward to more.
All we have is that sacred moment that is the big “NOW”. Sure we have intentions, hopes, and
desires; still, there is no promise of a future. We take it day by day, and learn what we can with the tools
at our disposal. I know one thing
is for sure…Sharon Stelluto sets me ablaze in dramatic fashion. I have never met anyone quit like
her. I don’t know what is down the
road for the two of us, but we have an intention. In this moment, we walk with respect, compassion, and a
willingness to explore and understand.
I look with great anticipation where this road will lead us without
judgment or attachment. I am
eternally grateful to have entered her life, as she has entered mine. What ever comes next…well, we will have
to live and see.
