The RISE journey is coming to an end. Everyday we move closer to COSM: The
Chapel of Sacred Mirrors. As the
scenery has changed, expectedly, so have I. In the beginning, I was so amped. Filled with adrenaline, excitement, and the wonder of the
infinite possibility that awaited me.
Each new day I reveled at the American landscape, and I have marveled at
its amazing diversity. As the
countryside changed, so did the season as did the culture. It has been a blessing to be a witness
to this land I have known as home.
As everything has been in a constant state of metamorphosis that I am
now accustomed too, I have become aware of the most important change: The revolution within.
Allowing
the constant change of the outer world to become the norm, I am no longer as
distracted by it as I have been for so many months. This has allowed the appropriate space in my mind to take
the leap inward. For the past
three or four weeks, I have finally reached the point of welcoming the
silence. It is still quit
unsettling, and takes time to relax into.
It also brings a new layer to the tour itself. I have kept to myself as much as I possibly can. Sure, I fall into old habits and
continue to distract myself.
Scanning the Internet, looking for people to talk to on the Facenet, or
watching old episodes of LOST. As
time begins to move on, I am taking the time to go for walks. During most of these walks, I have also
refrained form listening to my ipod.
Just take a stroll and allow myself to integrate the ambiance of what
ever may be in the environment.
This
has allowed me to have more conversations with myself. Asking those tough question and peal
away those layers that hide my many paradoxical truths. Its not always the most fun or
entertaining exercise. Truth be
told, it can be down right frightening.
The more I peal away, the more questions I ask, I begin to realize a
simple truth…there are no definitive answers. There is only the feeling of flow. I know you’d like to have a more thorough explanation. I don’t have one. How does one explain an abstract? There seems to be no sufficient
language for feelings, only a feeble attempt for understanding. If you need a better description,
I would ask you to think of gravity, or to watch a flowing river. Sit in silence and just observe it as
it is: the water, the rocks within
and on the banks, and the life that dwells with the flow. Watch every aspect and how it all
interacts.
As
humans in an industrialized world, we have become so hardwired for
stimulation. We are constantly searching
for gratification of the pleasure centers in our brains, that we have become
distracted. Maybe it’s just me,
and it is my issue alone, but it’s as if we have lost the connection of self
and the divinity of the living moment.
The journey inward takes time, attention, and courage to let go of
attachment. The path can be
a dark, cold, and murky wilderness, but there is a silver lining. The light is just above the dense
canopy. It splinters between each
massive tree and thick brush to show the way. The way isn’t a universal map. It is dramatically different for each and every one of us,
but its there nonetheless.
It has taken five to six months to
transition into this new method on this journey, and as the tour winds down,
soon I will have more time for solitude and self reflection. This is a process that I do not intend
to rush. My journey home is still
one that is in constant motion, and I am not married to anyone way on how to go
about it. I am willing to take
what comes at me, what ever that is.
While I have many ideas, I am allowing myself to be without schedule and
up for what ever change the flow decides for me. All I can do is initiate the navigational coordinates of my
intention, and through the power of will, I will be taken where I need to be.
